Blog entry preceding this one is "The situation as we know it".
Lily: A love story can not end without a beginning, so here is our beginning.
The year 1998 I was 21 years old. I was working in a restaurant while all my friends were either finishing university or starting their brand new careers. I wasn't on a destructive path...but I wasn't a happy person either. Still very bitter towards my mother who had left my father years earlier, and trying to cope with my medical condition that continued to do damage to my soul - there were only two things that I had to look forward to.
1: Going out drinking and dancing with my girlfriends on the weekends.
2: Spending copious amounts of time in chat rooms; talking to random people about ancient history, philosophy, literature, poetry, movies, the supernatural etc . People who spoke "Lily" and who did not judge appearances. Popularity was based on how charming you could be at the fingertips on the keyboard.
I think I had been on the Internet for about three months when I discovered ICQ. A message program where you could start up a conversation and kill time talking about random things. All you had to do was put your "name", list the category group you wished to search for someone to talk to (Age 20 and up) and a little information about yourself; for me in this section I wrote the following:-
"Where true Love burns Desire is Love's pure flame;
It is the reflex of our earthly frame,
That takes its meaning from the nobler part,
And but translates the language of the heart".
If anyone remembers ICQ and the way it was set up, you'll remember the message alert sound when a little yellow icon flashes in the bottom right hand corner of your computer screen. On October 12th, 1998 that little "uh-oh" sound changed J.J's and my life forever.
J.J at the time sent me a message asking who had written the quote to which I replied that it was Coleridge (thanks high school English teacher Mr Ponchard for introducing me to Coleridge's work).
J.J. was generally surprised that this piece of literature was Coleridge's while I was surprised that he even knew who Coleridge was for at that stage all the random people who I had previously been messaged by were Men and bi-sexual women of all ages asking me for my "stats" or age / sex / location, as if I would take part in a random one-night stranger hook up.
It wasn't a particular long conversation that we had, perhaps twenty-five minutes at most on a prehistoric dial-up modem. J.J mentioned being dumped by his girlfriend just recently, I mentioned that Australia did in fact get snow and had lots of creepy crawlies and sharks to end your life ( Yes, I will never work for Australian Tourism). I was amusing, he just got points for not asking me for cyber-sex and so a mutual friend request was sent.
We spoke on and off as our lives permitted for the next three years.
We talked about everything usually at two key points of the day: anytime between 10am - 12pm (AET) or Midnight to 3am. We discussed my family and friends, of me going to university as a "mature" aged student, what I did on the weekends, the movies and music we liked, his friends, the rock of sloth, stories of the loon, his bike messenger friends and his room mate. I expressed a dislike for the world of politics and he would come back with that he had been a Political major at university. We had so many opposites, yet so many similarities.
Our need to crush each other in competition begun at this point as well with online canasta, followed by the online seedy world of euchre, spades, hearts & backgammon. Truly we were playing with our lives at this point ;) .
Once I finally became somewhat knowledgeable with computers, pictures were sent. Every photo he sent me, he looked completely different in them. And the shirts?? Oh my god the shirts of a thousand different colours and prints and then he would send a picture of himself in a suit and tie - at some point I did think it was someone playing a joke on me because of the differences between the photos. But it was all the same person and with thanks be to the Hawaiian shirts, especially the pink one, I gave J.J. the nickname of " The Colombian Drug-Lord".
PHOTOS JEFF SENT ME:
PHOTOS I SENT JEFF:
Now three years of conversation, you get to know someone quite well. And yes, the word "love" may have been mentioned by both parties but I could never really commit myself to feeling it for the concept of falling in love with someone you had never physically met was just unheard of - I mean what if he was shorter than me?? I always said I would never marry anyone shorter than me. :)
So we both decided to save for a trip, J.J being a better earner and saver of money than myself bought his plane tickets and flew over in November 2001. I insisted he was just coming here to see the country and we would have some fun and that would be it.
Fun turned into an awkward first kiss - Sorry honey, it's what I remember most about our first kiss - I remember it so clearly, we were in the pool in the backyard, you looked at me, we kissed - and as we pulled apart, I say " Well...that was awkward." (I'm such a romantic).
Thank the powers that be that the second, third, fourth, fifth kisses were heart-stopping, butterfly filled moments I will treasure always.
It was never dating in the conventional sense. We just did stuff. He took a trip to Broken Hill (without me - I had no interest in Broken Hill, probably because of that outback, middle of no-where feeling with someone who could possibly be a serial killer). We took a trip to Canberra and both came down with the flu, him worse than me because he's a guy and man-flu is ten times worse than normal flu.
By February 14th, 2002, we had made it to Australia's Wonderland (amusement park). It was while on the Zodiac ride in which we were talking with J.J saying " I've never been to an amusement park with a girlfriend before.."
Ah.... okay.... so I guess now I finally have a classification from him (from my personal diary).
On the 24th April, 2002, Jeff proposed to me in the hospital I was staying in (three day experimental treatment for my bone disease). Out of a silver candy wrapper and surgical tape, he fashioned an engagement ring and simply asked and I said yes without hesitation.
It was then that we both kinda realised that we really hadn't been out on an official date. Therefore, at the Teppanyaki Bar at West Gosford we had our first official "date".
Side note: Our story for me will never officially end - because as J.J. knows our love is for this life and the next..... and so says our legally binding marriage vows :)
J.J:
It was 1998, I had been seeing a girl named Ange. Then the worst day of my life up until that point happened. I got a phone call from a trustee in bankruptcy that someone I had been doing contract work for had filed for protection. I was out some $10,000. Then I went outside to get the post and I get a letter telling me that my student loans have consolidated and the bank would kindly like payment now thank you.
Crap. It wasn't even 9 am and I'm broke.
Around half an hour later, I run into Ange on her way into work. I ask her if she wants to go for a drink after work, explaining its been a rough day and I'm going to need one. Ange politely declined explaining that she was "Kinda, sorta seeing someone else", and that she had already promised to go out with him that night but she was free tomorrow night.
I think that's called hitting the trifecta.
Somehow, I managed to make it through the day without getting hit by a car - I had trouble doing that on most normal days. When, I showed up for work at the Loon, I explained my day to the others in the kitchen and they agreed to send me home as soon as the dinner rush was over.
Mercifully, it was an easy and early night. I went home and in a state of apathy began just reading random profiles on ICQ, I fired off a response to one saying "Coleridge, right?" and never expected a response or actually cared if I got one.
The rest they say is history.
In a cruel irony it was Ange that had installed ICQ on my computer in the first place.
This set off a three year conversation, that went from when I would stumble home from one job and for a few brief moments before I would get my first call in the mornings for my other job. The chats were longer on the weekends until Tim or others would be knocking on the door for breakfast at the Oak. I've apologised before for how many times I fell asleep while talking to Lily, and I apologise again for all those wasted " zxxhdhjwekjfhf" that always graced her screen once my head hit the keyboard in slumber.
Finally, the day arrived. I landed in Australia on Nov. 14 2001. After many delays, Lily and I laid eyes on each other. I cringed at how tall she was and I know she cringed at how much of a short arse I am.
As Lily just explained, we had our trials and tribulations.
When I decided to propose to Lily, I had announced to the boys at work the night before what I was going to do. There was much cajoling and ridiculing from those that were already married and calls of "idiot" from the bachelors. Only Ducky supported me through out it. The next day I arrived at the hospital with a foil fish balloon and snuck out during the visit to get some flowers. I proposed on bended knee with a foil ring made from a mentos wrapper.
She said yes, laughed and the three other ladies in the ward clapped and laughed. Soon, word had spread throughout the entire hospital, depriving Lily of being able to surprise her friend that worked there of the happy event.
Two days later, back at her dad's place we were told to find our own place, which we did. Quite literally right around the corner. It was then Lily pointed out that we had never been on a proper date. So, not only were we engaged, we were living with each other without ever having had a date.
I must be a catch.
I'll never be able to test the theory of me being a catch as Lily pointed out, our vows state that we are: 'bound to each other in this life and the next. Where we meet, remember and love again."
The blog entry that follows is "Fuzzy, furry, finned & feathered friends".
J.J at the time sent me a message asking who had written the quote to which I replied that it was Coleridge (thanks high school English teacher Mr Ponchard for introducing me to Coleridge's work).
J.J. was generally surprised that this piece of literature was Coleridge's while I was surprised that he even knew who Coleridge was for at that stage all the random people who I had previously been messaged by were Men and bi-sexual women of all ages asking me for my "stats" or age / sex / location, as if I would take part in a random one-night stranger hook up.
It wasn't a particular long conversation that we had, perhaps twenty-five minutes at most on a prehistoric dial-up modem. J.J mentioned being dumped by his girlfriend just recently, I mentioned that Australia did in fact get snow and had lots of creepy crawlies and sharks to end your life ( Yes, I will never work for Australian Tourism). I was amusing, he just got points for not asking me for cyber-sex and so a mutual friend request was sent.
We spoke on and off as our lives permitted for the next three years.
We talked about everything usually at two key points of the day: anytime between 10am - 12pm (AET) or Midnight to 3am. We discussed my family and friends, of me going to university as a "mature" aged student, what I did on the weekends, the movies and music we liked, his friends, the rock of sloth, stories of the loon, his bike messenger friends and his room mate. I expressed a dislike for the world of politics and he would come back with that he had been a Political major at university. We had so many opposites, yet so many similarities.
Our need to crush each other in competition begun at this point as well with online canasta, followed by the online seedy world of euchre, spades, hearts & backgammon. Truly we were playing with our lives at this point ;) .
Once I finally became somewhat knowledgeable with computers, pictures were sent. Every photo he sent me, he looked completely different in them. And the shirts?? Oh my god the shirts of a thousand different colours and prints and then he would send a picture of himself in a suit and tie - at some point I did think it was someone playing a joke on me because of the differences between the photos. But it was all the same person and with thanks be to the Hawaiian shirts, especially the pink one, I gave J.J. the nickname of " The Colombian Drug-Lord".
PHOTOS JEFF SENT ME:
PHOTOS I SENT JEFF:
Now three years of conversation, you get to know someone quite well. And yes, the word "love" may have been mentioned by both parties but I could never really commit myself to feeling it for the concept of falling in love with someone you had never physically met was just unheard of - I mean what if he was shorter than me?? I always said I would never marry anyone shorter than me. :)
So we both decided to save for a trip, J.J being a better earner and saver of money than myself bought his plane tickets and flew over in November 2001. I insisted he was just coming here to see the country and we would have some fun and that would be it.
Fun turned into an awkward first kiss - Sorry honey, it's what I remember most about our first kiss - I remember it so clearly, we were in the pool in the backyard, you looked at me, we kissed - and as we pulled apart, I say " Well...that was awkward." (I'm such a romantic).
Thank the powers that be that the second, third, fourth, fifth kisses were heart-stopping, butterfly filled moments I will treasure always.
It was never dating in the conventional sense. We just did stuff. He took a trip to Broken Hill (without me - I had no interest in Broken Hill, probably because of that outback, middle of no-where feeling with someone who could possibly be a serial killer). We took a trip to Canberra and both came down with the flu, him worse than me because he's a guy and man-flu is ten times worse than normal flu.
By February 14th, 2002, we had made it to Australia's Wonderland (amusement park). It was while on the Zodiac ride in which we were talking with J.J saying " I've never been to an amusement park with a girlfriend before.."
Ah.... okay.... so I guess now I finally have a classification from him (from my personal diary).
On the 24th April, 2002, Jeff proposed to me in the hospital I was staying in (three day experimental treatment for my bone disease). Out of a silver candy wrapper and surgical tape, he fashioned an engagement ring and simply asked and I said yes without hesitation.
It was then that we both kinda realised that we really hadn't been out on an official date. Therefore, at the Teppanyaki Bar at West Gosford we had our first official "date".
Side note: Our story for me will never officially end - because as J.J. knows our love is for this life and the next..... and so says our legally binding marriage vows :)
J.J:
It was 1998, I had been seeing a girl named Ange. Then the worst day of my life up until that point happened. I got a phone call from a trustee in bankruptcy that someone I had been doing contract work for had filed for protection. I was out some $10,000. Then I went outside to get the post and I get a letter telling me that my student loans have consolidated and the bank would kindly like payment now thank you.
Crap. It wasn't even 9 am and I'm broke.
Around half an hour later, I run into Ange on her way into work. I ask her if she wants to go for a drink after work, explaining its been a rough day and I'm going to need one. Ange politely declined explaining that she was "Kinda, sorta seeing someone else", and that she had already promised to go out with him that night but she was free tomorrow night.
I think that's called hitting the trifecta.
Somehow, I managed to make it through the day without getting hit by a car - I had trouble doing that on most normal days. When, I showed up for work at the Loon, I explained my day to the others in the kitchen and they agreed to send me home as soon as the dinner rush was over.
Mercifully, it was an easy and early night. I went home and in a state of apathy began just reading random profiles on ICQ, I fired off a response to one saying "Coleridge, right?" and never expected a response or actually cared if I got one.
The rest they say is history.
In a cruel irony it was Ange that had installed ICQ on my computer in the first place.
This set off a three year conversation, that went from when I would stumble home from one job and for a few brief moments before I would get my first call in the mornings for my other job. The chats were longer on the weekends until Tim or others would be knocking on the door for breakfast at the Oak. I've apologised before for how many times I fell asleep while talking to Lily, and I apologise again for all those wasted " zxxhdhjwekjfhf" that always graced her screen once my head hit the keyboard in slumber.
Finally, the day arrived. I landed in Australia on Nov. 14 2001. After many delays, Lily and I laid eyes on each other. I cringed at how tall she was and I know she cringed at how much of a short arse I am.
As Lily just explained, we had our trials and tribulations.
When I decided to propose to Lily, I had announced to the boys at work the night before what I was going to do. There was much cajoling and ridiculing from those that were already married and calls of "idiot" from the bachelors. Only Ducky supported me through out it. The next day I arrived at the hospital with a foil fish balloon and snuck out during the visit to get some flowers. I proposed on bended knee with a foil ring made from a mentos wrapper.
She said yes, laughed and the three other ladies in the ward clapped and laughed. Soon, word had spread throughout the entire hospital, depriving Lily of being able to surprise her friend that worked there of the happy event.
Two days later, back at her dad's place we were told to find our own place, which we did. Quite literally right around the corner. It was then Lily pointed out that we had never been on a proper date. So, not only were we engaged, we were living with each other without ever having had a date.
I must be a catch.
I'll never be able to test the theory of me being a catch as Lily pointed out, our vows state that we are: 'bound to each other in this life and the next. Where we meet, remember and love again."
The blog entry that follows is "Fuzzy, furry, finned & feathered friends".
Hi lil and JJ.
ReplyDeleteI will share a few memories of this time with you. I was at uni at this time (part time) so after dropping Aidan to school used to go to Lil's at the very early time of 9.15am. She was ALWAYS in bed asleep and I would go in and wake her up. For 3 years I heard all about JJ and that was always her excuse for being tired and still asleep in the mornings as she had been up all night on ICQ, however we all know she just loves her sleep. She would come home from Troppo on the weekends to fire up the computer to get her JJ fix. When you finally made it over here to Australia, and I do recall a few false starts, I recall a certain teary conversation with Lil about whether you were just friends ( she thought that's what you wanted) or more than that( what she wanted). I was very pleased to note that you made the correct decision and decided to take the plunge and give it a go as a couple. And what an amazing couple you have made. x
It's the life of the hospitality crew, we were like vampires - you sleep in the day, work at night - it was a beautiful thing. :)
ReplyDeleteNow I think I was just sleeping back then as my body knew it wouldn't get any sleep in nows..... Sleep in? What's a sleep in? 7am is currently a sleep in at the moment - lol.
I honestly do not remember the teary conversation but having just found my diaries from this period of our lives, it certainly would have happened exactly how you describe.
Definitely the best decision ever - I have never been happier than what I am with J.J & that happiness just grows each day every time we see Arwyn smile. xxxx
I too remember those times...we had moved next door to Lily in 1992 and had watched as Lily swapped her netball skirts and netball for pool queues and "club Troppo" clothes...being slightly older than Lily i was always amazed when she would go clubbing at about 11pm..and that was an early night...i remember meeting J.J for the first time, over the fence, and thinking "what a funny little bugger he is", what with the Hawaiian shirts and that strange metal thing around his wrist...i mean seriously J.J what was that..lol..but at the same time thinking, now here is a good bloke.I cant wait until you get to the engagement party Lily, I still remember J.J having a go at me for not weighing his meat pattie...lol..xoxo to you both...
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