Blog entry preceding this one is "The week that was chemo."
Lily: I honestly could not think of a topic for today's post. I have several in mind however they are better left for when we really get into it to give us the most amount of experience to work with.
So I have gone with a combined list of short stories, incidents, trials and tribulations to record for all time, memories that may soon be forgotten due to brain farts ( it's a medical condition look it up). (This list may be added to, as the memory improves upon looking at old photos, journals etc).
J.J:
I had something witty, charming and articulate written while I was in hospital. Then Lily logged in at the same time as me and it was gone, lost into the ether never to return. The trouble is, I'm in a different mindset this time around. So, I will do my humble, bumbling best to correct Lily's revisionist history.
1: Lily's pregnant pauses.
Lily: Some of you may or may not know that it took a few years to get pregnant with our first child Arwyn. Four years really. Four...hard...long...back-breaking...legs up in the air, another blood test really? years.
J.J had been tested with the results of " You have SUPER-SPERM Mr J.J!!" to which J.J puffed out his chest and strutted his stuff around the doctor's office proud of his manliness. Which meant that I was the problem. My diagnosis came back as "unexplained" for while I had everything working, I needed help being regular at the actual ovulation part. So I was placed upon fertility drugs, first tablets, then needles and then WHAM, three years later, we were pregnant!
We made it to the 12 week mark, no dramas.
We made it to 4 and then 5 months pregnant, again without incident with the exception of Lily's place of work cutting her shifts from a manager who had also called her retarded with down syndrome (because of my facial appearance) the first day he started work. Why did he cut shifts? His response, because I was pregnant and being too demanding by requesting to work in other sections that didn't require me to constantly lift heavy objects. Fucker! I so wish I had been of the right mind and sued him for discrimination.
At six months pregnant, we only had one car between us. Usually J.J would catch public transport to his place of work while I would use the car and then pick him up at the end of his shift at the restaurant. One day, I had to get up early to go to the doctor's, and through a miscommunication which we'll just say is all J.J's fault, I was key less to get back into the house. So a pregnant woman, returns home and desperately needed both a bathroom and was feeling hungry after months of being nauseous. In my mind, I had to get into the house and I was going to do what I had to do to get into it.... so I climbed over the balcony and shimmed along the outside of the railing to climb around the security fencing (left up from a previous owner but did absolutely nothing). Not once did I think I would fall, but I think back now of what could have happened and what we could have lost and ......yeah stupid act number 1.
J.J: First things first - Yes, I'll accept responsibility for the house keys incident. Lily would have gotten up at some ungodly hour to get me into a do nothing day in a cafe that was in its death throes. I probably had the house keys on me, having forgotten to give them back after going back upstairs for something essential I forgot. Like my knives or the book I'd get to read with no customers coming in.
In my defence, it did mean I was now locking the door.
Who says men never change.
2: J.J's inability to reverse.
Lily: Sorry honey, but you said I could...even if it was a moment of weakness, you know my competitive nature is always going to take over and use your weakness to my advantage.
So, not once but twice has the inability to reverse out of our driveway left us having a tiff over who gets the car. The first time was when we had made the purchase of "Natasha", our silver current car. J.J was doing night shifts at work 6pm - 6am scenario and was still adjusting to the sleeplessness / over tiredness of the transition. As J.J had been the one to purchase the car, make all the arrangements he was going to pick up the new car (the silver one) by driving our old Magna "Boris the Red" to the dealership, park it across the road, drive back in the new one and together after my job had finished for the day we would both go out and get it.
Like any good wife, I woke him in the afternoon as per instructions, half asleep he got up, got dressed, grabbed the keys and then went to get the car.
That was our first mistake.
I should have made sure he was awake to begin with. After I waved him goodbye I turned to go back into the house. It was only then that I heard the scrapping of metal against metal. J.J had reversed into the old rusty mailbox. To add to his crime. Instead of stopping to see what the noise was - the man floors the accelerator to finish a long line down the side of the car with an indent into the side of the car and the only reason he stopped was because he heard my cries of " STOP - OH THE HUMANITY - STOOOOOOOOOOOOOP"!
His second reversing incident - which just cemented that the man did not have reversing skills at all, came on an early shift for him. 6am - 6pm. I set the alarm for 5am for him, he got up, got dressed, got in the car and then I heard another scrapping followed by a thud.
" For fucks sake really?" I muttered in my half awake / half asleep state. In my jim jams, I dragged myself out the front to be confronted with the following:
Right.....
Hmmmm....
So,
And before I know it, J.J takes Boris the Red to work and I'm left to wait for road side assistance - yet another sleep in robbed of me.
(For argument's sake I have been involved in two on the road accidents. Both were not my fault (ask the insurance companies) and both were at the hands of little old ladies who didn't realise that when a car is in front of them that you are NOT suppose to hit them just because you saw that the driveway/street you wanted to enter was going past you - try being in the correct lane before you turn, just some advice.
J.J: I will fully cop the damage to the two cars.
No excuses.
I mean its not like I ever wanted to learn how to drive. I did only learn in order to drive Lily to the hospital (see an Unforgivable crime).
3: The infamous line Lily's father said when the Celebrant at the wedding asked....
2002 we were married. J.J had been out of his family's house since the age of 17.... or 18?? I was still living at home because ..... well, whose kidding who, I was quite comfortable living there as a university student. Up until this point, unlike my siblings, I had never had a proper boyfriend / girlfriend relationship. Sure I had hooked up with guys at nightclubs etc, had some fun but the whole relationship thing just wasn't going to happen as I had major trust issues. These issues were thanks to my mother leaving my dad without warning so she could go and marry her teenage (meaning back when she was a teenager) boyfriend who apparently was now single.
When J.J came over from Canada, it was just myself and father living in his home, and I'm sure I was crushing his hectic social life :) (love ya dad).
So at the wedding, J.J and I looking gorgeous, we are into the vows and the celebrant turns to my father asking if he had my father's permission to proceed with the wedding, you know the father giving away the daughter bit - My father with all his grace, eloquence and love for his daughter replies " Blood oath I do!!"
Love ya Dad, don't ever change, you're one in a million. :)
4: Phrases coined in our house:
"Lily Logic" - This is where what has been said only makes sense in Lily Land.
(J.J: Lily logic - I'm sorry, I don't understand it. I can speak it or at the very least fake it. But it certainly is a real thing and I'm not entirely certain what I am going to walk into. So, to Arwyn, I hope you do take on Lily's madness, er I mean logic, and at the same time can pick up enough from me to keep you passive and calm no matter what is happening.)
" J.J's sliding scale of Time" - 100% applied to J.J and his lack of speediness to complete tasks set for him by his loving and beautiful wife Lily. So on J.J's sliding scale of Time, when Lily asks J.J to change a light bulb and he says yeah sure I'll do it later..... later will be become six months.
5: Lily tries to change the light bulb (in a ceiling fan) which results in the fan and light to no longer work.
Lily: Getting in before J.J. - I had asked him to change it, he didn't. I got fed up and tried myself, it broke.... that's what happens when you use the J.J sliding scale of time.
J.J: sliding scale of time...pfft
6: An unforgivable crime (post Lily's Cesarean)
Lily: After the birth of Arwyn, I had to stay in the hospital a few days due to having a Cesarean. I was told that I could stay a few extra days however declined this offer as the young redneck white trash woman in the bed beside me and her high school boyfriend were constantly lowering my IQ with their verbal assault of every swear word known to exist (and some I learnt for the first time) as they berated each other for god knows what reason. Poor little Arwyn, (and their own newborn for that matter) did not need to enter the world with such negativity. So home it was to be.
Having your belly sliced into was a small price to pay to get a wonderful gift, yet it denied me the right to drive. J.J at this point had only just got his full driver's licence and for whatever reason, it was deemed that my father would drive us the 45 minutes home. With a pillow across my belly so that the seat-belt wouldn't hurt me, we drove home.
Once home, (on the same day I got out of hospital) we settled in - me fussy about Arwyn, J.J and my dad in the lounge room watching TV. Dinner plans were mentioned upon arrival and so we all waited. And waited. A few hours went by and nothing yet had been done towards making an effort with dinner in mind. Completely swollen with pregnancy and post pregnancy hormones, I looked at the pair of them just sitting on the lounge as I made sure for the hundredth time that Arwyn was still breathing (new born, first time parent syndrome) - Fed up, I went to the kitchen making as much noise as I possibly could and made dinner for the evening - and two men, sat on the lounge and watched that frickin TV while their wife and daughter having had her belly sliced opened to bring life into the world (which they could never do), and still managed to make dinner for everyone in the house.
Now I'm not one for holding a grudge or anything (stop pissing yourself with laughter if you truly know me), but yes.... a moment in our history that I will not forget.
Defend that one, Mr J.J!! :)
J.J's defence: The momentous day to have Arwyn finally arrived. So, after being berated and beaten into learning how to drive so Lily while heavily pregnant wouldn't have to - Lily decides to drive to the hospital.
7: Arwyn's first steps:
Lily: For Arwyn and myself I have been keeping a diary for her of all her moments from birth up until her current age. I plan to keep this up until her 16th birthday, have the pages bound and turned into a book to give her as a birthday present. This entry, is taken from that proposed book.
4: Phrases coined in our house:
"Lily Logic" - This is where what has been said only makes sense in Lily Land.
(J.J: Lily logic - I'm sorry, I don't understand it. I can speak it or at the very least fake it. But it certainly is a real thing and I'm not entirely certain what I am going to walk into. So, to Arwyn, I hope you do take on Lily's madness, er I mean logic, and at the same time can pick up enough from me to keep you passive and calm no matter what is happening.)
" J.J's sliding scale of Time" - 100% applied to J.J and his lack of speediness to complete tasks set for him by his loving and beautiful wife Lily. So on J.J's sliding scale of Time, when Lily asks J.J to change a light bulb and he says yeah sure I'll do it later..... later will be become six months.
5: Lily tries to change the light bulb (in a ceiling fan) which results in the fan and light to no longer work.
Lily: Getting in before J.J. - I had asked him to change it, he didn't. I got fed up and tried myself, it broke.... that's what happens when you use the J.J sliding scale of time.
J.J: sliding scale of time...pfft
I'm a procrastinator. Always have been, always will be. If I do say I will do something, I will do it, it just might not be when you want it done. I mean, it is Your deadline isn't it? Not mine. So, yes, sometimes, I do take a bit longer to do things than others. The light bulb is a different issue. The light bulb burnt out WHILE I was at work. Not before, not a day before, not a week before, but while I was at work. Lily, decided to pre-empt the sliding scale of time, fearing something akin to techtonic plates and tried to fix it herself. As it turns out, if you turn a screw too much, you can actually pull the cables through the socket. So, we were left without a light in the ceiling fan in the lounge room. How long do you think it would take to fix and replace that? A day, a week, a month? It went on for close to three years before we finally got it replaced so sliding scale of time is definitely contagious.
6: An unforgivable crime (post Lily's Cesarean)
Lily: After the birth of Arwyn, I had to stay in the hospital a few days due to having a Cesarean. I was told that I could stay a few extra days however declined this offer as the young redneck white trash woman in the bed beside me and her high school boyfriend were constantly lowering my IQ with their verbal assault of every swear word known to exist (and some I learnt for the first time) as they berated each other for god knows what reason. Poor little Arwyn, (and their own newborn for that matter) did not need to enter the world with such negativity. So home it was to be.
Having your belly sliced into was a small price to pay to get a wonderful gift, yet it denied me the right to drive. J.J at this point had only just got his full driver's licence and for whatever reason, it was deemed that my father would drive us the 45 minutes home. With a pillow across my belly so that the seat-belt wouldn't hurt me, we drove home.
Once home, (on the same day I got out of hospital) we settled in - me fussy about Arwyn, J.J and my dad in the lounge room watching TV. Dinner plans were mentioned upon arrival and so we all waited. And waited. A few hours went by and nothing yet had been done towards making an effort with dinner in mind. Completely swollen with pregnancy and post pregnancy hormones, I looked at the pair of them just sitting on the lounge as I made sure for the hundredth time that Arwyn was still breathing (new born, first time parent syndrome) - Fed up, I went to the kitchen making as much noise as I possibly could and made dinner for the evening - and two men, sat on the lounge and watched that frickin TV while their wife and daughter having had her belly sliced opened to bring life into the world (which they could never do), and still managed to make dinner for everyone in the house.
Now I'm not one for holding a grudge or anything (stop pissing yourself with laughter if you truly know me), but yes.... a moment in our history that I will not forget.
Defend that one, Mr J.J!! :)
J.J's defence: The momentous day to have Arwyn finally arrived. So, after being berated and beaten into learning how to drive so Lily while heavily pregnant wouldn't have to - Lily decides to drive to the hospital.
I sit in the passenger seat, Ted in the back, Lily is ready to pop and calmly driving herself in. Which includes hitting the horn, giving the finger and cursing like a sailor at the idiot drivers that dare to cut her off.
It was more of the same on the way back home. Lily sat in the back with our gorgeous little girl in the capsule next to her. I sat in the passenger seat and Ted drove home. Not sure why I didn't drive, I think Lily whispered in Ted's ear about not letting me. We stopped at the shopping centre for a few supplies and Lily had a legitimate whinge about the speed Ted took the speed bumps with. Finally, home.
Settled.
Or so I thought.
I will fully admit that Ted and I did sit down and watch t.v. and Lily did get up and start making dinner. However, I want it stated that essential dinner questions like "when would you like dinner?" or "what would you like for dinner?" certainly help. its true, Lily did get up and start making dinner, loudly, and I've been hearing about it ever since. But this falls into the category of dumb boys, we don't understand subtly and nuance. If you want dinner, say so, tell us what, we Will make it.
7: Arwyn's first steps:
Lily: For Arwyn and myself I have been keeping a diary for her of all her moments from birth up until her current age. I plan to keep this up until her 16th birthday, have the pages bound and turned into a book to give her as a birthday present. This entry, is taken from that proposed book.
June 27th, 2007.
Wednesday, 6:34pm.
Dear Arwyn,
You have just fallen asleep in your cot, and your father has also gone to bed due to a long day at work…and so I am left with my thoughts about you. You are very much mobile at this age (seven months). You are crawling everywhere and getting into everything. One minute you will be in the lounge room the next you will be out on the verandah having your father come look for you.
Today, you stood!!!
Now you are probably glancing at me from whatever god awful hair-style you have created for yourself (This is just an assumption – because as you are aware, I have a love of long hair, probably making you have long hair since you were little – and in a fit of rebellion you chopped off all that to ‘make a change!’…which is why I say god awful – but I digress…this is just an assumption); as I was saying, you are probably glancing at me from underneath your locks going “Big deal!...I can stand now.” However at seven months it is pretty impressive. You used a Huggies Nappy box to help you do it – and you were ever so pleased with your accomplishment as was I.
One day later…
Last night you took your first steps (assisted of course). I was laying on the lounge room floor, you were crawling all over me as you are want to do. You used my bottom to pull yourself up into a standing position. I sat up, held your hands and then excitedly; you took your first steps towards me!! Oh Arwyn, it is one of the most magical moments I have ever experienced – you were smiling, you were laughing…a large ball of energy centred in on my chest and it beamed with light that only a proud parent can have. CONGRATULATIONS!!!
I Love you – Ma ma.
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